portmanteau

[ pawrt-man-toh, pawrt-man-toh ]

noun

Also called portmanteau word. A word that combines the form and meaning of two or more other words; a blend.

Examples: motel, smog, cyborg, email, emoticon, popsicle, spork, webinar, anklet, botox, bromance, dumbfounded, fortnight, glamping, brunch, etc

A short portmanteau story…

Portmanteau Meets Poor Man Beau

We sat around the firepit in silence.

It had been my idea to go glamping to escape the noise and smog of the city. My girlfriend, however, was not thrilled to be sitting in the woods communing with thousands of voracious bugs in the summer humidity. My vision of a romcom type of evening was melting as quickly as the popsicle she held in her hand.

“I’m not sure you can eat that with a spork,” I offered gently. Her eyes pierced the night and at least part of my heart. “Don’t mansplain to me how to eat,” she shot back. “You know I would prefer to be at a nice gastropub and spend the night in a comfortable motel bed.” She turned her dismissive gaze on our tent only partly assembled due to an unfortunate packing oversight on my part.

“You’re just hangry,” I suggested. Even as the words exited my mouth my heart was sending a Code Red message to my brain. Something along the lines of, “Dude! Really?”

It was difficult to be sure by the light of the fire, but I’m pretty sure her face flushed the color of her raspberry popsicle as my tone-deaf comment hung precariously in the space between us. “You,” she spoke with her teeth clenched and her lips unmoving, “are the person who forgot the matches.”

“Yeah,” I sighed. “I thought they were with my camping stash. How about a nice brunch tomorrow?” I suppose I should not have been dumbfounded by her reaction.

I dropped her off at her apartment about 2 a.m. Her labradoodle growled at me as she closed the door in my face without saying goodbye.

As I walked back to my car, I guesstimated I should probably wait a fortnight before sending her an email asking her about a good time to return to pick up my toothbrush.